I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it