everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about