one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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