that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
