i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
