I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
