I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
