listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
