you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
You can't special order awesome
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Randomize
