An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
