I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
We got so high we made milksteak
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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