Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
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