before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
