i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
