yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Found the puke drawer
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
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