Someone shit on the floor
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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