My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Holy shit dude........stairs
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