i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
