My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
