'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
