thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
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