Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
