am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
