I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
