Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
