Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
