Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Randomize
