Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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