then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
We got so high we made milksteak
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
