What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
