whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I smell stomach acid.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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