Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
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