Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
