He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
