hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Randomize