What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
