Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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