i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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