I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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