I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.