yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.