Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
So vagazzling was a success
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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