I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Can Purell be used as lube?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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