i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
