I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
