we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
