the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
