I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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