Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
then he tried to convert me to islam
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
