ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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