well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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