idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
