she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
