More tranny stories later!
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I want her autograph on my taint
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
