You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
