just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
