Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
