That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize