remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
