Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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