I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
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As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
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hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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