Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Randomize
